So how do you peel him off the couch and away from the remote control into going shopping with you?
Men don’t hate shopping. Most may not necessary like it but they don’t hate it. They shop primarily out of necessity; for a new set of work clothes as an example and when they do, it’s usually a pretty quick turnaround trip.
Well since he shops out of necessity, make him feel it’s necessary that he comes along and lull him into thinking his opinion matters and will be necessary (yes ‘lull’ because who are we kidding, you’re still going to buy that pair of shoes anyway).
So necessity being the keyword, here are some pointers and ‘jedi-mindtricks’ from a man to help you entice yours into shopping with you.
DRESS ME UP BARBIE
Remember the paper doll dress-up game where you could cut out several outfits or hairstyles even, to piece together an ensemble?
Here’s how you can apply that very same method.
You flip the pages of a magazine or the newspaper (or via some telepathic communication capability between women that men don’t and will never figure out) and you spot an ad for a sale you’ve been waiting for. Try to play down your excitement and breathe normally. Plant yourself next to him on the couch or wherever he may be, if you aren’t already are. Heave a sigh, yes a despondent sigh, the best that you can muster.
When he turns to you and seemed concerned, point to him an ensemble from the items advertised and expressed your insecurity of not being sure if you could carry the outfit you’ve just pieced together.
A man who’s genuinely concerned would try to make you feel better, in fact he would even start suggesting an ensemble for you (if he hasn’t yet don’t worry, continue with the “self-pity” act or simply, ask him for help). Now it’s very important that you continually express “pleasantries” and “praises” with his suggestions, to make him think he’s good at it.
Equally as important if not the most important thing to highlight, is how much he saved in terms of money (not spend as save is always a more attractive verb) with his choices.
Do it a few times and when he seems to be enjoying doing it while lapping up the praises you’re showering him, let him know how amazed you are at his creative ability which makes him a necessity.
Once his ego has been stroked, suggest doing it for real. Again, remind him how much he saved if he seemed hesitant. It’s important to make him feel in control but once you’re at the shops, we all know who’s doing the driving though it is necessary to still let him make suggestions – the key here being “suggestions” not “definitive choices”.
… OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?
Imagination is a powerful tool and deceiver. When you see that dress or a pair of shoes you fancy, you start imagining how they would look like on you. You can use that ever so persuasive power of imagination on him too!
Pick out something from the magazine page and ask him to imagine the item on you. How do you turn up the notch to win him over?
Well as an example, if it’s a dress you’re suggesting, pick out a pair of heels from your present collection. Put them on, let me clarify and emphasize, put ONLY them on and nothing else. Stand in front of him, holding the photo of the dress and ask him to imagine how you would look like in the dress.
Now at this moment, there are probably a few other things he’s imagining in his head so it’s important to make sure you’re in control.
He may suggest you put the magazine or photo down instead (and you can fill in the blanks) but seductively counter-suggest with hints like for example of him helping you trying on the dress in the shop’s dressing room.
You’ll be amazed by the power of the imagination but take note as the initial part of the persuasion starts at home, do it within the confines of your bedroom if you’re living with the in-laws and also ensure your man is not easily susceptible to cardiac arrest.
FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (Yea Right)
One of the simplest tried and tested methods is to convey the need for him to come along with the lure that the stuff you’re intending to buy is primarily for him. As with the “Dress Me Up Barbie” ploy, make him feel needed and important and yet again, that his opinion matter.
Entice him by suggesting items that you think he would love to see on you and paint a picture of the things both of you can be up to while you’re in that dress or donning that beautiful accessory; from a dancing night out to a quiet dinner at your favorite restaurant or even perhaps staying in and enjoying a salacious intimate time.
Human, especially Men, are visual creatures and if you can paint something they can visualize in their head, it’s a sure bet they’ll be up to whatever it is you’re suggesting.
Being persuasive is necessary.
A man finds his woman attractive for many reasons and chances are, one of them includes the way she carries her outfit.
With that in mind, recall the moments he complimented your clothing, pick a day where the both of you aren’t doing much and subtly suggest heading out for a trip to the mall. Make it known to him that you want to share and show him where you bought the clothes from.
You never know, he may actually buy you the next one. Now it’s important to be aware that while out on the shopping trip there might be something that he fancies for himself, a shirt or cufflinks perhaps that caught his eye.
Egg him to try them on and pay compliment if they suit him and if not; suggest something you believe will look good or even better on him. Find that outfit for him that compliment what you just bought and the shopping trip becomes a fulfilling one for him as well.
Don’t be surprised if he is the one who suggest a shopping trip the next time round!
There have been many articles on the subject of the male ego. The male species need to be and feel strong; they are expected to be the provider and protector. One of the best ways to get your man to go shopping with you is to simply make him feel all that and more.
Tell him straight up you need him as you may be vulnerable to a potential snatch-thief incident (it is a common known fact incidents as such do happen especially in crowded malls) or that his eyes would come in handy spotting that gem of a buy (which to him literally means not that exorbitantly price-tagged) or put on your best game face on and tell him you need him to say NO to impulsive buying when he spots one coming.
The principal idea is to make him feel like a real man who fulfills the criteria mentioned earlier like provision, protection and strength, like a superhero.
It’s necessary however; to constantly stroke his ego throughout this “adventure” by thanking him and praising him for his assistance in for example, spotting that good buy or keeping a lookout for potential crime and more.
If you’re lucky enough and your damsel in distress act is a flawless hit, he might just initiate helping you with the shopping bags without you even asking!
Couples do go grocery shopping together as ultimately the haul benefits both. If one knows how to re-tailor that into a technique and apply it to their other needs, a woman can easily entice her man to go shopping with her for anything.
There are other ways of getting your man to come with; perhaps a mall that’s in close proximity to a pub where you can reward him with a pint or two post-shopping, a mall that has an outlet of his preferred brand (clothing, hobby etc) or you could even start with a simple lunch and use the excuse of needing to walk it off to subtly assimilate into your primary agenda i.e. shopping.
The most important thing to remember is to make it necessary for him to come along and this is achieved by making him feel it’s also about him.
There are men like yours truly who don’t need much persuasion. Plus I’m lucky because my woman prefers muay-thai and other perspiration related activities to shopping.
If your man requires that wee bit of convincing and ego tickling just remember to make it a necessity for as they say Necessity is the Mother of Invention and if you play it right, it could mean the Mother of Shopping Haul for you!
Good luck and have a happy Great Singapore Sale.